Archdiocese of Chicago

Seeing Others in Conflict

When we don’t engage one another to address a conflict, we begin to see the “other” as the problem. We begin to:

• Demonize “the others” as less than “we”
• Multiply issues and assign blame for all the problems or issues to the “others”
• Use “new”, often deprecating, language – to describe the situation and the “others”
• Gather those of “like mind” to support our definition and solution of the problem
• Mutually begin to “excommunicate” “the others” “casting out the demons”

Ponder:

When disagreement begins to push people apart, do the “unexpected”:

• Invite frank but kindly discussion
• Treat the others as partners
• Work hard to maintain the relationships and meaningful communication
• At times “forget” the problem and concentrate on the relationships
• Invite wise 3rd party consul
• Rely on prayer and reflection (together)
• Listen to one another’s story (their “narrative of life”)

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