Office of Conciliation - Archdiocese of Chicago

F.Y.I.R. - For Your Information and Reflection

Staying Connected when the Relationship is in ”Crash Mode”

Some statements & questions to incorporate into your language of peace & reconciliation:

  • “Will you say a little about how you see things?”
  • “I want to understand what is really important to you in this matter. Won’t you please share with me?”
  • “Can you help me understand better your point of view?”
  • “I’m interested in learning how you see the matter differently than me. I hope we can share our differing perspectives and any differing information that each of us might have. If we do, we may understand better and appreciate more our different points of view.”
  • “What is it that I may have said or done that upset you?”
  • “Are you able to elaborate about why you think that this was my fault?”
  • “I would find it helpful if we both shared what we think the other might have contributed to this unfortunate time in our relationship.”
  • “Your opinions, perceptions, and points of view on this matter are important to me, because I value our relationship. And because I do, I will stay with you and listen to everything you have to say without interruption.”